Day 16: Troisième Jour à Paris

We went to the Louvre. It was big. We saw everything. Well, we’ll say we did – we went to every section and saw “a representative sample” of each. Soooo much stuff to see. Some of it was awesome; like us. Some of it was stupid; like the hostel we’re staying at......

Top 10 reasons to stay anywhere other than “The 3 Ducks Hostel” in Paris.

10. Headlice – The only reason this isn’t the number 1 problem with the hostel... is that we made it up. There’s no headlice – we just wanted a nice round number of problems.

9. Lockout time – You cannot be in the rooms between midday and 4pm. Hasn’t been a problem for us, but I imagine it could be a real inconvenience in some situations.

8. Number of toilets – Just the two toilets. Between everybody.

7. Breakfast – A bread roll and/or a croissant. Some butter and jam. And orange juice. It’s a pretty piss-poor effort that.

6. Bells – The hostel is across the road from a church whose bells chime on the hour, and sometimes on the half-hour as well.

5. The Friendly Service – The guy(s) at the front desk like to ignore you for as long as they can until you actually go out of your way to get their attention. Usually they are distracted because they’re talking to one or more girls at the bar at the reception desk.

4. The Lack of Organisation – Recall the story about 7 people being booked into our 6 bed room!

3. The Layout – The common area at The 3 Ducks is an outdoor courtyard. A very nice place indeed for people to sit around having some drinks and a chat with the other guests until the wee hours... unless you are a person who is in their room trying to sleep. The rooms are all open directly onto this courtyard. The room doors are quite literally just metres away from where people are sitting and talking at night. And the doors are simple wooden-frames things with glass panes which do nearly nothing to cut out the noise. Along with noise, you also get people’s cigarette smoke wafting into the room.

2. The Key System – There is one key per room. You pick it up if from reception if you need to get into the room, and drop it off if you are the last person to leave. Clearly this relies on everybody doing the right thing. But you know people... in general, they don’t. They do have a spare key per room for when someone runs off with the first one. But what if, like last night, a bunch of people in a room get drunk, and pass out in the room with the door locked and both keys inside? Well, then half the hostel gets woken up by the person who is locked out smashing on the door and yelling in a futile attempt to wake the others up. At 2:30am. For 15 minutes. Eventually someone got in through a window for him.

1. The Showers – Classic stuff. You get in the shower and you get a totally puddle-covered floor (for a reason which will become apparent), and very minimal space to hang stuff up – so inevitably almost everything you want to keep dry gets wet. You get in behind the shower curtain and turn the water on... errr, how do you do that? There’s a few levers around attached to pipes. They do nothing. Hmmm, there’s a little silver knob on the silver pipe here. It doesn’t really look like anything, but maybe it’s ... OH MY GOD, WATER!! It blasts out like a firefighters hose! Full power. It’s quite painful really. This is why the floor is wet – the shower curtain gets blasted outwards, and does nothing to keep the water contained to the shower recess.

Oh, yeah, and the water is cold.

Fortunately it doesn’t last long. 12 seconds in fact. Then you have to press the button again to continue your shower. Fun times. There’s 2 showers on our floor, that open (like the rooms) directly onto the courtyard. And one of them doesn’t lock.

And the light switch is outside the shower room, and is hidden behind where the door is when it's open. And it really only just wide enough to stand in. Really top-notch stuff these showers.

OVERALL
OX Fun Times hostel rating: 1/10
It scores its only point because it doesn't have headlice.

Day 15: Deuxième Jour à Paris

Well, the 7 people in a 6 berth room situation was rather anticlimactic. The first 5 people to retire to bed got the 5 clean beds, and the last person to check in returned to the room significantly after midnight, saw that all beds were taken, said “Goodbye room”, picked up his stuff and walked out.

Today saw us exploring the Catacombs of Paris and the Musee Griven (the Parisian equivalent of Madame Tussard’s). I will let the photos speak for themselves. Tomorrow has been set aside for the Louvre.

One of the 1.7km of tunnels we walked into and out of the catacombs

The well of eternal youth... actually we can't remember what this was. But the photo turned out well (no pun intended)

Dem bones dem bones

Playing a duet with Elton... but I think he's more interested in checking out his playing partner

Xavier gets offered "The Standard Rich and Famous Contract"

Day 14: Premier Jour à Paris

We left the Oxford Backpackers Hostel and arrived in Paris without incident, using the exorbitant prices of the buffet on the Eurostar as a convenient way to spend those pounds that we would no longer need.

After some initial confusion, (due mostly to the low resolution of the map showing the location of the hostel that we had) we found the place that we will be calling ‘home’ for the next three days. We dumped our bags and made for the Eiffel Tower (by chance we happened to pass a place called Promenade d’Australie) with the intention of climbing as far towards the top as you can get without the assistance of an elevator. This was the optimal solution, as it minimised both queuing time (both for getting onto the structure in the first place, and for the elevators that take you to from the second highest platform to the very top) and price. Interesting fact: they paint the Tower every 7 years, using 60 tonnes of paint.

On the way back to the hostel, we had dinner at a place called “le Shanghai”, which was basically a Chinese take-away pick-what-you-want-from-the-bay-marie place. However, once we had picked what we wanted, it went straight into the microwave to heat it up – presumably the temperature in the bay-marie was set for optimal bacteria growth rather than good serving temperature. I’m quite sure that spring rolls shouldn’t be chewy. If we get sick in the next day or two, we’ll know who to blame!

Our room at the hostel has 6 beds in it. One of those beds appeared to be in use when we checked in. There have now been a total of 6 other people (including us) who have come in to claim a bed. Either management cocked up (which wouldn’t be a complete surprise) or someone didn’t take all their stuff when checking out, and so the cleaning staff haven’t made the bed up for a new guest. It will be interesting to see how this pans out.

Day 13: The Cricket Match

And what a cracking game of cricket we had here today!

The match was 35 overs per side – but with the possibility of a draw built into the rules. If either innings was not complete (either all-out, or beaten the score of the opposition), the game is to be declared a draw.

Yes, hopefully that should make sense to people who know cricket. If you don’t I’ll explain more as we go along.

At the bottom of the post there is a link to pictures of the full scorecard for the match, if you just want to jump straight in and see how it went – but reading the blog entry will provide much more excitement... it’ll be like being there watching the game. And believe me... it was a thriller!

Rest Of The World XI

Here we go...

The Rest Of The World batted first with Phil Clark and Xavier Halliwell opening the bowling. The RoW were in trouble from the outset, with Clark knocking over one of their openers in the first over. A good catch from Charlie Lowson, running backwards and taking the ball over his shoulder, gave Clark and Australia their second wicket. When Halliwell picked up an LBW in the next over, and wicket-keeper Trudgian claimed a skyed top edge in the over after that, the RoW were reeling at 4/15 after 5 overs.

This brought Dip Das and Owain Williams, captain of the RoW team, together, and the Australians struggled to make more progress. Das and Williams piled on the runs for the next 12 or so overs, plundering a partnership of over 100 runs. The Australians cycled through their bowling options, but without success.

It was only after a team huddle and some words of wisdom and inspiration from captain Halliwell that the breakthrough was made. Well, that, and bringing Clark back into the attack. Tim Trudgian took a sharp catch standing up to the stumps to dismiss Das, after he chased a ball wide outside off stump – a ball that the bowler himself described as “terrible”.

From there, the Australians got back on top – Clark took yet another wicket, making 5 for him before the drinks break at 20 overs. Even though he had to leave at that point to meet other commitments, the rest of the Aussie bowlers finished off the RoW tail-enders. Williams remained undefeated on 68 at the end of the innings, but ran out of partners – the last wicket falling in the 32^nd over.

The RoW had made a good score of 161, but apart from Das and Williams, none of their players made double figures!

Australian XI - back: Charlie Lowson, Jesse Dore, Xavier Halliwell (c), Berian James, Owen Dive, Matt Penfold - front: Alex Grant, Will Usher, Tim Trudgian (wk), Chris Knowles, Albert Alla

The Australians went into bat, and it looked like being a carbon copy of the RoW innings. Wickets fell so quickly at the beginning of the innings that the batting order had to be changed around several times based on who happened to be ready to go! It was 2/1 after opening batsmen Berian James and Will Usher fell quickly. Tim Trudgian and Albert Alla looked to have things under control for a while but fell before either of them could reach double figures.

Just as with the RoW innings, the fifth wicket partnership was the highest of the innings. Halliwell and Matt Penfold combined to see off a good number of overs, although had no intentions of scoring at the same rate as Das and Williams had earlier in the day. Just before drinks, the partnership was broken when Halliwell miscued a pull shot and was adjudged LBW for 14 from 22 balls.

The sixth wicket held on for a while longer after drinks. It was clear at this point that Australia were playing for the draw. Penfold at one stage facing 20 consecutive dots balls... before breaking his streak by hammering the ball over backward square for the only 6 of the day.

By the time Penfold was dismissed for 16 he had faced 46 balls, and given the tail enders a chance at seeing off the rest of the overs to salvage a draw.

OK - a pause for those of you who need some explanation. The situation is that Australia were in a position where there was no way they were going to score as many runs as the RoW team. But, because the RoW lost all of their wickets when batting, if Australia did not lose all of their wickets before the end of the match, it would be a draw (Not a tie. A tie is where both teams make the same score. A draw is where the game is declared incomplete, and no one wins or loses)

Alex Grant fell soon after, Charlie Lowson lasted just 3 balls, and Jesse Dore (the first of 3 number-elevens in our side) only 2.

And so it was 9/76 with 8.5 overs remaining. Chris "Knowlesy" Knowles and Owen Dive were at the crease. The two guys who had each spent the last few days trying to convince the team management that they should be the number 11 batsman.

With paceman Gavin Sourgen now having bowled 2.1 overs with figures of 2-0 (he had cleaned bowled both Matt and Charlie), he decided to change it up and bowl some spin to this pair. Owen did himself proud, coming well forward to the first ball, and safely defending it away. A play and miss at his second ball – but importantly, not out. And so it went for 3 more deliveries, and Owen had seen off his over. The crowd loved it. But still 8 overs to go.

At the other end Knowles was doing himself equally proud. After spending the week talking up how terrible he was, he wielded the bat like he had all the experience in the world, seemingly having no trouble in seeing off deliveries from Das, who had now been brought into the attack.

Just as the Australians had used 10 bowlers, so the RoW now made more changes to the attack, including a change of wicket keeper to bring on their 9^th and 10th bowlers. Dive and Knowles continued to see off deliveries. The RoW were powering through the overs, Darren Lehman style, and before anyone knew it, there were just 4 overs left in the match.

In the next over, Dive got an edge on a ball from Williams, which flew wide of first slip and away for a single. The crowd roared... but Dive himself roared louder, raising his bat in triumph as he got off the mark!

With 16 balls to go, Knowles had a swing... and successfully drove the ball down the ground through long-off... for 4! Tim Trudgian, who was out on the field doing the umpiring, reminded his team mate of the state of play: “Just 15 balls left in the match. Perhaps you should keep that in mind when making your shot selection.” Knowles justified the shot by explaining that he had no intention of finishing with 0 runs to his name.

And so it was back to defending. As the balls counted down, the field was brought in closer and closer, and for the final 2 overs, the RoW returned to two of their top-line bowlers. Spinner Singh came on for penultimate over. On several occasions Dive popped the ball into the air just to either side of the wicket... but on each occasion, it fell safely out of reach of a lunging fielder. Singh’s special change-up is the faster delivery. Late in the over, he tried a few of them out, leaving Dive playing (safely) at the ball after it was already in the ‘keepers gloves.

And then there were just 6 balls. Opening bowler Douglas steaming in to bowl to Knowles. He blocked. He played and missed. He was struck on the body... but they were unable to claim his wicket!

The Australians had held on... the final wicket partnership had seen off 53 balls, 2 scoring shots, 5 runs, but unbeaten. Immediately after the match, Dive announced his retirement from international cricket – perfectly happy with his career batting stats.

Dive and Knowles celebrate their 10th wicket heroics post-match

Scorecards are below...

Day 12: Wedding Day

With Tim’s sister and her boyfriend and housemate staying in the same room as us at the hostel, there was much preparation being done in our room through the morning. We caused a line-up at the ironing board, where Owen and some random guy engaged in an extensive conversation offering each other ironing tips.

We met with Berian and Julia again this morning to go and buy a wedding card, and go to “Shake Away” – a shop offering over 100 flavours of milkshake. It’s kind of like the Goodberry’s of milkshakes, but with more flavours to choose from. They of course have the full range of fruity, chocolatey and other standard flavours. They also have an extensive selection of lollies and chocolate bars – including Aero, Jelly Beans, Skittles, Tic Tacs... Next add a variety of cereals such as Weet-Bix, Coco Pops, Blueberry Nutri-Grain... And finally, a few totally random things, like the one Owen ordered – Carrot Cake. Yes, it’s actually just bits of carrot cake blended up into some milk. Xavier carried over his Goodberry’s favourite by ordering a Banana and Mint Aero shake.

This is all possibly old news to Melbourne people, as apparently there is an outlet there as well.

The awesome foursome also went to a museum to look at a totally nerdy mathematics, measurement and science apparatus display (can't remember what it was called actually, but that's what it was about). Trust me, it was far more interesting than it sounds.

And then it was time – back to the hostel to get dressed, and off to The Wedding!

I will give a brief description of how the afternoon went, but will then let a selection of photos do most of the talking. Further questions are welcome and will probably be answered. I also believe that the “official” photographs (and possibly video) from the wedding will be made available online at some point.

The ceremony was at 2 o’clock in the Balliol Chapel, followed by drinks and finger food in the lovely garden just outside. Around 4:30 or 5:00, we all got called to make our way into the dining hall, where the reception was held. 3 courses, plus cake and coffee – speeches from Di’s brother, Tim’s brother, Di herself and Tim himself – piano performances from a couple of different people – general good times and plenty of wine. At around 8pm, people headed outside into the Balliol College grounds for family photos. There was croquet for some, a game of cards for others – both of which lasted until it was too dark to continue. Darkness (from about 10:00) saw people slowly starting to head off, but the tab at the bar kept plenty of people around for as long as the barman was going to be willing to stay on for.

The dining hall in which the reception was held was of the classic Oxford University College dining hall style – that is, it was like the one from the Harry Potter movies. The movies were filmed at one of the other colleges, but I think they’re all pretty much the same setup. It was pretty awesome!

For those of you wanting to know about fashion, flowers and food, here’s some introductory comments before I direct you to the photos to see things for yourself:

Fashion – There were no bridesmaids or groomsmen – up on stage it was just Tim and Di, with Tim’s brother as best man, and Di’s brother. There was a fairly small number of guests, most of which were male (therefore just suited up in the standard way). Di was not wearing a standard style wedding dress, which probably provides the most interesting fashion point of the ceremony.

Food – The menu and pictures of each course are in the photos. Also shots of the dining hall.

Flowers – Apart from the College gardens, there were very few to be seen. Di had a bouquet – but the only time I ever saw it was when it was being thrown. I think that was all.

To the pictures – a selection of Xavier’s photos from the wedding day may be found here:
http://s758.photobucket.com/albums/xx227/xueyam/

Until the Trudgian photos are available for all to see, you will have settle for the best of what I took. (And as much as I was able to upload using the poor internet facilities at this hostel)

PS - I've not time to write titles or comments on the photos - so if you don't know who is who and what is what, give it a day or two and there will be descriptions for all.

Day 11: Still in Oxford

This morning took us to St Mary’s Cathedral for a look around (can’t come to an English town without checking out the local olde church(es)). This included a climb up the 127 steps to the top of the tower. Plenty of tight squeezes up the spiral stone staircase, and also around the narrow balconies at the top – very similar to the kinds we experienced at the Scott Monument in Edinburgh. Some more wanderings took us past various olde buildings, colleges, libraries, as you would expect.

Lunch we had at a place called “Eat As Much As You Like” – or EAMAYL (presumably pronounce “e-mail”) – and we did just as the name suggested we should. It was just a self-serve Asian-food place with all the stuff you would expect to see... boiled rice, fried rice, various noodles, various meats and vegetables in various sauces, soups, spring rolls, prawn toast, hot chips... errr, what?

Yes, it appears that the English believe chips go with everything. Certainly I disagree on this occasion – I tried out a few chips, just to see how they went down. It didn’t work... the chips just tasted weird in that dish...

Mr and Mrs Berian (aka Berian and Julia) arrived in the afternoon, and with their lack of enthusiasm for going boating on the canals we instead had a quiet afternoon eating and drinking at various places. Drinks at a little cafe in an Oxford back-street, dinner at “Pizza Express”, supper at a pub.

We were supposed to again be meeting Tim this evening – same place as yesterday. The four of us showed up around 15 minutes after the scheduled meeting time, on the assumption that Tim would be late. 25 minutes after that, having seen no sign of Tim (or anyone else who was there to meet him) we left.

This was when we went to supper. Fortunately we chose the correct pub to do this, since shortly afterwards, a bunch of recognisable faces came past us, who pointed us towards where the ‘party’ was happening, and all was well.

Drinks and discussions were had, and upon returning to the Hostel we found that Tim’s sister and her boyfriend and housemate – all of whom we had just been hanging out with at the pub – were staying in the same room as us.

All in all, a day lacking in real excitement, but I’ve no doubt this is the proverbial calm before the equally proverbial storm. Tomorrow is wedding day – the day after that, the much talked-about cricket match.

BIO!!

(That’s “BRING IT ON!” for those not in the know)

Day 10: Spooks In Oxford

Let’s start today with a classic quote that was left out of the write up about last night’s robbery story. While the Swiss chap was having a go at our wacky-robber, trying to get him to own up, thief-boy decided that he was only being accused because “this is just some kind of payback for the war.”

“Hey, I’m from Switzerland... we weren’t even in the war”

Classic.

And now, on to Day 10...

In the morning, we went to the Oxford Museum. It seems Tony Robinson has become to history and archaeology as David Attenborough is to wildlife and nature – with the 15 minute looping video at the museum narrated by the great Baldrick himself. We also learned of the great feast of boxing day 1251 – which took 6 months to prepare and consisted of at least 68,500 loaves of bread, 170 boars and 25,000 gallons (151,000 modern day bottles) of wine.

Next there was a quick trip to the local Virgin Mobile shop for a replacement mobile phone. At the bargain price of £10. By the way, anyone who thinks that we may need to contact you in the next 2 weeks, feel free to email through your phone number so it can be added to the new phone :-)

Following a brief bludging/familiarising-with-phone/emailing session, it was off for a walk to investigate the possibility of hiring a boat and doing some rowing or punting down the canals. The walk took us past a length of canal, 2 boat hire places, a house that looked like a boat, a door that was not a door, a field of hay bales, Christ Church Cathedral/College, and a squirrel! What more could you ask for?

We also investigated the place we were to be meeting up with Tim that evening – just to make sure we knew where it was. All we found was a guy sitting in a booth at some kind of guard gate. But apparently, according to the guy, that was the right place. We just had to drop the name “Timothy Trudgian” before he would tell us about it. More name dropping to appear later today as well.

In the evening, it was off for another dose of The Spooky Men’s Chorale. This time we had the right date. We rocked up at “doors open” time, only to be greeted by a different group of people to whom we were expecting to be on the door! They didn’t know that we were “on the door”, and should be allowed to just waltz on in to the sold out show for free. So they told us to come back in half an hour and “see if there are some spots available”.

So we did. When they saw us come back, there were whisperings and pointings, and they came to investigate further... “Was it Stephen said you could get in?”... you bet it was!! The head honcho himself!!

Moments later, the Spook-meister was at the door:
“Yeah, let ‘em in!” he called, to the consternation of the other people who were also there waiting ‘to see if there were spots available’. To them it looked as if we had just appeared, joined the back of the line and been let in – of course even without our special treatment, we knew we had still had been there before them.

So we were in! Third Spooky Men event in 3 days, at a total cost of zero. Including one that was sold out! Clearly this even impressed The Men themselves, with several of them noting our re-appearance and having a quick chat, either at the interval, or on the way out at the end.

The performance tonight was at the Holywell Music Room (no relation) – said to be (by those that were there last night) the oldest performing arts venue in Europe. The acoustics were fabulous! The Spooky Men were made to sound even more Spooky and more wondrous than usual. Adding to the awesomeness was the multiple pieces of impromptu and/or unintentional comedy which left many of the Men unable to keep up their stone-faced character.

The standout among these was when someone up the back of the room made a quick blast into their tissue, blowing their nose, and with barely a pause, Stephen pulled out his pitch pipe, tuned it appropriately, and blew the same note as the nose had just moments before.

“That’s a G, for future reference.” He said, and at least 4 of the Spooky Men on stage behind him had to turn away in fits of laughter.

Despite all of this, surely the highlight of the night was when our own names were dropped. Towards the end of the show, our ol’ mate Stephen mentioned, among plugging their own merchandise, tour and website that “We have Owen and Xavier in the crowd tonight, who entered the Spookyclip Competition a while ago, which you can also find on the website”. Then he couldn’t find us, so there was no way of being discreet about our identities, as we had to raise our hands for him and everyone else to see us.

With the Spooky Men finished for the night (and for us for this trip), we headed down the road to the Holywell Manor to meet with Tim. There were drinks to be had and past times to reminisce about. I’m sure these things were done – but the writer of this paragraph wouldn’t know, as he called it a night very soon after arriving, looking to make up for the string of bad nights’ sleep, including last night’s 5am robbery-induced-bed-time.

Tomorrow is another day chillaxing in Oxford, before the big two days of the trip are upon us – The Wedding and The Cricket Match.

Special Report/Breaking News: Cops and Robbers

by Xavier Halliwell

It’s 3:00am. I intended to have an early night tonight. This is the story of why I am still (very) awake. It’s going to be long – so let me get your interest from the outset by giving you the main points in the story:

1. 1. I got robbed
2. 2. The guy who robbed me was very dumb, very drunk, and therefore extremely strange
3. 3. It has a (mostly) happy ending

It is hideously long just because I want to get it all written out while it’s fresh in mind – not because I like the sound of my own... fingers on the keyboard... or something...

OK. Here we go...

It was time to go to bed. I was very tired, having not slept particularly well on any of the nights I’ve been here – mostly because the sun comes up at 4:30am making my brain think it must be time to be awake. I took my clothes to go and get changed in the bathroom. I went into one of the toilet cubicles, got changed for bed and returned to my room. I went so far as to switch off the light and climb into bed before reaching for my mobile phone – but it was not to be found. Not in my pockets, not among the pile of clothes I had brought from the bathroom. Nor was my wallet. Perhaps I had not had it with me then. Is it in my bag? Maybe I left them in the common room while I was using the internet earlier.

No – I remember – I had taken them out of my pockets to get changed and left them on a shelf in the toilet cubicle. It had only been a couple of minutes, so I returned to the bathroom to get them, but found someone using the cubicle I had been in.

I waited. Just a minute or two, a young guy emerged and left the bathroom. If I hadn’t been so tired I would have realised that I should have asked him then and there if he had seen my stuff in there. But I didn’t. I instead simply had a look into the cubicle, saw nothing – no wallet, no phone – and left the bathroom again. Maybe I hadn’t left them there after all. I was pretty tired. Maybe I didn’t look properly in my room.

I returned to the room for another look, and again found nothing. I really was very tired – I considered leaving it until the morning to worry about. I quickly decided that was silly. I couldn’t find my wallet – not something one should “leave until the morning” when you’re staying in a youth hostel. So I left my room again.

At the far end of the hallway, I spotted the young guy I had seen coming out of the toilet. So I went down and asked him if he had seen my stuff while he was in the bathroom. A wallet? A mobile phone? He paused, as if thinking what to say, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a couple of bank notes. An Australian $5 note, and a Japanese 10,000 yen. Clearly these had come from my wallet – not many other people would be wandering around in Oxford with those two currencies on them.

For a moment I was confused – was this all he had found? Or had he actually found everything else as well?

He reached into his pocket again, and pulled out a wallet. My wallet. My empty wallet! No cash, no cards, no coins, not even my Boost Juice card or my 10-Pin-Bowling vouchers!

“What about the rest?” I asked, not really sure if I was accusing him of taking the rest or just asking if he had seen the rest. “What about a phone?” I decided to ask. Again, he went into his pocket and pulled out a phone – this time it was not my phone. It was far too new to be my phone J

So I questioned him some more – asked him if there had been anything else with this stuff. After asking him only a few questions, it became clear to me that this guy had taken my stuff. He avoided answering – I began asking him direct Yes-or-No questions, like
“Was there any more money with it?”
“Are you sure there was no phone with it?”
“Have you seen my credit card?”

and he replied with things like:
“Why would I take your money, I have my own”
“Here, what about this phone?”

There was a girl sitting in the corridor as well, who evidently knew this guy. Once she worked out what was going on, she immediately stepped in, clearly highly suspicious of this guy. She asked him why she had seen him hurrying back into his room a few minutes ago, why he had been in such a rush, and had he been going to hide stuff in his room.

As the conversation went on, he got more defensive, she started speaking to him like she was his mother, and both of us became more and more convinced that he had taken my things.

Then it got weird – he started trying to give me his passport. I have no idea why, but he seemed to be claiming that he wouldn’t be doing it if he was guilty. As if my knowing exactly who he was, and having his passport in my possession would mean that I could find him again if it turned out he was guilty... or something.

“Take it. Why would I be doing this if I had stolen your stuff?” he would say
“What am I going to do with your passport? I want my own stuff, not yours!” was the general crux of my replies.

We continued to ask questions, speaking to him as if it was a well known fact that he had my stuff, and eventually the girl suggested we go and see whoever was the boss at the hostel at the moment – again, she spoke as if she knew this person, calling him by name, and telling me she would take me to him. Our suspect stepped up his defensiveness another notch at this point, even mentioning the police.

“No, we’re just going to report that there has been a theft.” But even when we weren’t actually accusing him of anything, he felt the need to defend himself.

Things now moved out into the common room. I told my story to a few people who obviously had some kind of authority at the Hostel. Just the facts – I never said that this guy had stolen my stuff, just that I had seen him come out of the toilet where I had left it, and that he had had the empty wallet in his possession.

It wasn’t long before a small crowd had gathered to watch proceedings. The accused was sitting on a couch on one side of the room, myself on another, with other people randomly scattered around. He stepped up his strangeness by throwing his passport on the ground at my feet – still convinced that it was some kind of peace offering that would make me leave him alone.

And then up another notch. He called the police. By this point, I was (and I’m sure everyone else in the room was also) absolutely certain that he had been the thief. But he called the police.

We tried calling my mobile, but it was “unavailable” – presumably turned off.

A Swiss guy soon arrived and took some kind of control. He also seemed to know the suspect, and after hearing my story, immediately jumped to the conclusion that this guy was guilty. The discussion went on for probably 20 minutes more. On our side there was a lot of:
“Just give him his stuff back – he’s travelling, and needs his ID and cards to get on with his holiday. Keep the cash, just give us the rest of it”
“No, I’m not interested in the police, they’ll just have a situation of statement against statement, and won’t be able to do anything.”
“You only called the police because you know you’ll get away with it one they show up – they won’t be able to prove you’ve got the stuff”

From him there were things like:
“If I did it, why would I call the police?”
“Here, have my passport!”
“This is just between me and him. Come and talk to me yourself and we’ll sort it out. I’m still not sure what you want me to do for you”
“The police aren’t coming – they said they’re not interested”
Then he called the police a second time

Through it all, he never said straight out that he didn’t have my stuff. Never said straight out that the wallet had been empty when he found it. Never said straight out that he didn’t know where my stuff was.

The icing on the cake was when he flat out refused to empty his pockets when someone pointed out that “there sounds like a fair bit of cash in there, and I reckon anything more that about 20 quid total is not yours!”

Next thing, a police officer arrived. I think most people in the room were quite surprised, as most of us had assumed that he had only pretended to make the call.

The first thing our young robber did was request a private chat with the officer. The hostel people showed them into the office behind the service desk, and after a few minutes, the policeman emerged.

And here’s the best bit of weird behaviour... he had confessed, and handed over a wad of cash to the police. The officer told me that the guy had confessed, and given him what he believed was my money. As for the rest of the stuff, the guy had apparently dumped it. But he “couldn’t remember where”. In the bathroom certainly – maybe down the toilet.

The officer accompanied us into the bathroom, but the thief clearly had no idea what he was talking about anymore, and less idea of what he had done with my stuff. A short search yielded nothing, and we concluded that he had indeed flushed the things. Including my phone.

The thief then pulled a final bit of whackiness by holding out his hands, wrists together, and asked “Are you going to handcuff me now?” When he was told “Not yet”, he stood there with his hands in the same position, just waiting.

While I finished looking in the bathroom, the officer took him away. Apparently “not just regular handcuffs with a little chain between them, these were big chunky things!” A pity I didn’t get to see them!

Ten minutes later, another pair of police arrived to take a statement from me and collect the guy’s bags. So I told them the details of the story, what I had had in my wallet, what my phone looked like. I believe they were also going to later check his bags to see if there was more stolen property in there.

So I signed a statement, and the police gave me my cash back and left just after 2:30am. At which point I still had to call to cancel my bank cards, and of course, write this tale while it is still fresh in my memory.

Wow. So it’s now 4:20am – yep, really early night for me!

In conclusion I would like to say:

• · This was quite easily one of the most un-nerving experiences of my life. It takes a hell of a lot to get me on edge, but sitting there with my empty wallet in hand in a room full of people who are focussing their attention on the guy that everyone knows has stolen my stuff, but who is avoiding being found out by being a complete nutcase – all magnified by how tired I was before this even began – well and truly got me there! The point at which the first officer said the guy had confessed was bliss!!!!
• · The thief was young – very early twenties, maybe even only 19 – short, mildly pudge, with very short (possibly shaved) hair. He didn’t have the face of a theif, it was too young looking. He perhaps looked a bit derro/bogan/lower-class/mild trouble-maker, but not steal-someone’s-wallet material.
• · It is quite amusing that Owen missed this entire thing. He was in bed before it ever began. A cracking tale to tell him tomorrow.
• · To all you people who tell me I need a new phone – you will get your wish. (Apparently it’s best to get a cheap temporary one for the rest of the trip)
• · Although my cards and stuff being gone is an inconvenience, I still have my passport, and the only out-of-pocket expense I have is... a new phone J
• · This is the second consecutive overseas trip for me where someone (either me, or travelling with me) has been robbed
• · Now that I’ve finished writing, I am really really tired

Day 9: Arrival in Oxford

We woke. We packed up. We departed the hotel. We found our way to the bus station. We made our bus with plenty of time to spare. Fortunately, this bus didn’t drive us along a route out that took us directly past Berian’s place again.

5:30 hours later (with no breaks for lunch or leg-stretching!), we got off the bus in Oxford, and enjoyed an evening of the Spooky Men’s Chorale. For those of you who don’t know who/what The Spooky Men are, look at www.spookymen.com.au and/or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spooky_men

After dinner at Nandos(!), we went down the road for the Spooky performance and were thoroughly entertai... errr, actually this copy and paste from yesterday is not working so well – mainly because the Spooky Men are not on in Oxford until tomorrow night. Although we didn’t realise this until we showed up at the venue tonight and found a line up of people waiting to go and check out some Bach. So, yeah, with the car rental and the gig tonight, we’re not doing so well with getting days/dates right J

Highly good times. Tomorrow we can look forward to a long-ish bus trip during the day followed by a potential Spooky Men’s Chorale concert in the evening... oh, actually, I think we’re doing something different tomorrow...

Right – now onto stuff that is not copied and pasted from yesterday:

T’was only a short stay in Leeds, but long enough. I wouldn’t say it’s one of the most attractive to be holidaying. Several of Berian’s friends in Edinburgh had replied with “Why?” when we told them we were going there, and I will be asking others the same thing in the future. It’s not that it’s a horrible place, it just gave me the distinct impression that the whole city was very lower-class and if it was in Australia it would be known as a very bogan area. There were plenty of too-young mothers and angry people yelling down telephones.

I also apologise for the lack of photos over the last few days. The memory card for my camera has been in the laptop for the last few days (as opposed to in the camera where it needs to be to take photos!), and moving it seems to keep slipping my mind whenever I have a chance to do it!

Day 8: Free Spooky Stuff

We woke. We packed up. We departed Berian’s. We struggled to find the bus station. We made our bus with just a few minutes to spare. And just to make us feel like we’d wasted the last hour, the bus drove us along a route out of Edinburgh that literally took us directly past Berian’s place again.

7 hours later, we got off the bus in Leeds, and enjoyed an evening of the Spooky Men’s Chorale. For those of you who don’t know who/what The Spooky Men are, look at www.spookymen.com.au and/or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spooky_men

At 5:30pm there was a “Sing Like A Bloke” workshop (for blokes of all genders), run by the Spooky Men. This simply involved getting all the participants arranged into an impromptu choir and teaching us a few basic singing techniques and learning a few of their songs. It was in a smallish church, and with the acoustics being as you would expect in a church, it only took a good choice of simple songs and a bunch of people doing a reasonable job of singing to make us sound rather fantastic.

Following the workshop, Owen went and introduced himself to the “leader” of the Spooky Men (often referred to as the “Spook-miester”), and was greeted with great enthusiasm once it was known that Owen was “the guy who did the Lego video clip” (rather than explain this background story to those of you who don’t know it, I will again point you to a website:http://spookymen.com/competition/index.php where you should watch videos #5 and #12, noting that #5 won a consolation prize)

So “the Lego guy” was much loved, and we scored equally much free stuff! First, we were taken to the merchandise stall they had set up for their gig this evening and Owen was given his prize for the video competition. The prize consisted of one of each piece of merchandise they had at the stall – a shirt, a bag, some badges and 3 CDs. We then got told that we “don’t have to pay” for tonight – neither the workshop nor the performance. Finally, we were told we could come along to their gig in Oxford tomorrow night – for free, and despite the fact that it is sold out... the people on the door know us now, and said they’d just let us in.

After dinner at Nandos(!), we went back for the Spooky performance and were thoroughly entertained for two hours. Except for the inclusion of all their new songs, the show hasn’t changed much in the four years or so since I saw them last (i.e. the on-stage banter, jokes, visual gags and such) – but then, why mess with something that works?

Checking into our Hotel in Leeds was also mildly entertaining. We were served by their most recent “employee of the month”, who, among the masses of talking he did to us, came out with 2 standout bits of amusement. The first was to ask us if we wanted a double-bed or two singles – which, we ended up realising is not an entirely unreasonable question to be asked of anyone these days (but we had booked the room online yesterday and selected a twin room rather than a double...). The second was to tell us that the reason our check-in form for international visitors was asking for our “next destination” was “probably just because they’re nosey”, before launching into a tirade of questions for his own interest about our holiday, including... “So, where are you off to after this?”

Highly good times. Tomorrow we can look forward to a long-ish bus trip during the day followed by a potential Spooky Men’s Chorale concert in the evening... hmmm, that sounds strangely familiar...

Day 7: The First Hiccup

The plan for today was to pick up our hire car from Hertz, and begin our multi-day journey through the British countryside to Oxford. But as they say about mice and men... it soon became apparent that a new plan was going to be required.

It has been quite a while since we booked our hire car – it was in fact one of the first things we did in organising the trip. We had the car booked for three days – pick up in Edinburgh on Monday morning, and drop off in Oxford on Wednesday afternoon/evening. Or did we?

This morning, as we were preparing to head out to the hire-car place, we noticed that we had actually booked the car for 4 days – starting from yesterday. No problem, right? We’re not trying to get any extra hire-time, just picking it up a bit later than they would have been expecting us J

Mmm, well, it doesn’t work like that. The “you snooze, you lose” policy seems to be in place. Pick up your car too late and you’ll find that it’s already been rented out to someone else. 24 hours is indeed “too late”. And they had nothing else for us either – so we left empty-handed and headed back to Berian’s place again to forge on with our new plan for the day which was: “Make new plans for the next few days.”

And that was how we spent most of the first part of the day. Investigating various options for getting from Edinburgh to Oxford by Wednesday night. After considering hiring a car from somewhere else, buses, trains, planes, what else to do if we stayed in Edinburgh longer, what we could do on various stop-over options if using public transport, costs, convenience, and a bunch of other things we came up with this revised itinerary

Tuesday 21 July: Bus from Edinburgh to Leeds. See Spooky Men’s Chorale in Leeds that night.

Wednesday 22 July: Bus from Leeds to Oxford. See Spooky Men’s Chorale in Oxford that night.

Well, there is some redundancy built into that plan. The Spooky Men shows are apparently very popular and often full, so we’re setting up for both possible show options. (There’s actually another whole story behind this involving prizes in a video clip competition and a sold out show which is not really worth writing here)

Well, after the excitement of not-getting-a-car, and spending a reasonable amount of time preparing and booking for the next 2 days, the rest of the day went by quite uneventfully. Xavier had his third flavour of Fanta for the trip (Grape in Japan, Strawberry at Mosque Kitchen, Fruit Twist at lunch today). We completed the computer puzzle game “Braid” and got to enjoy the mind-bending twist at the end of the story (which was already mind-bendingly incomprehensible to begin with).

Quote of the day: “I’m never travelling again” O.Dive, upon leaving the Hertz rental centre without a car.

It’s now 1:30am – so I’ve forgotten what else happened today...

Day 6: Revenge of BLOX Fun Times In Edinburgh

The general gist of today was very similar to yesterday (as the title of the post suggests). More hanging out in Edinburgh, with fun times had, interesting things seen, but not a lot of excitement by way of ‘things that will be exciting for other people to read about’. But read on, and I will do my best to pick out the best sub-stories of the day!

The fish-tank. There is a fish-tank in Berian’s apartment. It was leaking. Quite badly. His flatmates have spent quite a lot of time while we’ve been here fiddling around with trying different ideas to try to get it fixed.

They had a quite ingenious setup involving pieces of wood, buckets and various absorbent items to catch the water as it leaked, but it still required the tank to be topped up every now and then. There was concern last night that the bucket would not be enough to hold a whole nights worth of leakage and would start spilling onto the carpet before people were up and about in the morning.

With the tank being in the living room, where us visitors are sleeping, they eventually decided that “It should be fine, but you are guys are on bucket duty during the night”. Fortunately, the first splashes of water onto the carpet occurred about 10 minutes after we were awake. The fish have now been moved to a new tank.

This morning we spent a few hours in the National Museum of Scotland, increasing our knowledge of the history of Scotland. The most important thing Owen and I learned was that telepathy is the quickest way to communicate with aliens if they are ever approaching Earth. There was also a video explaining the geological history of Scotland – the phrase “England is sinking, while Scotland is still rising” was taken by some to be some kind of thinly-veiled propaganda, leading to larger conspiracy theories that the entire museum had some kind of sinister hidden purpose.

There was a fire truck in place when we came out of the museum - they were putting out a fire in a rubbish bin. (That was a short-lived and ultimately failed attempt to find something that a reader might find exciting)

Lunch today was at the Mosque Kitchen – which is just what it sounds like, a cheap little cafeteria thing at a local mosque. They serve curries, rice, dal, and the like. Xavier’s experience was plagued with broken things; the pull ring thing on the can of drink broke, forcing him to MacGyver his way into the can before it could be consumed; then in a separate incident, broke his high quality plastic spoon. But the food was good, cheap and plentiful, and the curry hot.

Lunch was followed by random lounging around back at Berian’s place until Leela departed for her plane home and we headed to Berian’s girlfriend’s (or “partner”, as he said, for all those of you I know who so enjoy the use of that word) house for dinner, various card games, and demonstrations of her flatmate’s robot.

Tomorrow morning we have a hire car to pick up which we will take down to Oxford over the next 3 days. The wedding approaches. As does the cricket match.

Day 5 : BLOX Fun Times In Edinburgh

Before we launch into today’s episode – note that I have updated “Day 3” with pictures and video as promised, and we also have a new poll for you to have your say on J

Finally, we have found the solution to the unusual building in Tokyo... read about it at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asahi_Beer_Hall

Right – today is the story of Berian (our host and guide in Edinburgh), Leela (the reason we sat at Edinburgh Airport for 2 hours last night after arriving), Owen (who you all know by now) and Xavier (the hero of our story) exploring Edinburgh.

In the morning, we jumped on a bus and headed to the Royal Mile – the main roads through Edinburgh’s Old Town from Edinburgh Castle (pictured) to Hollyrood Abbey. Starting at the Castle end, we walked along the road, checking out all fabulous things along the way including a Tartan Weaving Mill, an historic church, and an old man who was supposed to be collecting money for a charity but seemed more interested in bailing up passers-by to regale them with his old war stories.

We didn’t get all the way to the other end of the mile before turning off to cross into the New Town via “Jacob’s Ladder” (which was actually a staircase – yes, possibly to heaven). In the New Town we decided to reinstitute to coin-tossing-walking-tour procedure that had worked so well for us in Japan. After a bit of cheating, we ended up at the Scott Memorial – a monument in honour of famous historic novelist and poet, Walter Scott. It cost us 3 pounds each for entry, which allowed you to climb to the top and enjoy the view. The view was fine, but not really worth 3 pounds – however, the experience of the climb more than made up for it!

There were 4 stages in getting to the top – each involved ascending a tight, spiral stone staircase (containing a total of 287 stairs). The staircases were narrow enough that whenever you encountered someone coming the other way (i.e. down), it required both people to slide past each other side on. We eventually learned to call a warning into the stairwell before starting off to warn people at the other end not to start coming the other way!

We then had a warning from one lady on her way down that it got worse near the top. We didn’t believe her. We should have. As we approached the very top of the monument, the staircase became narrower... and narrower... and narrower. The final half a dozen steps would probably have prevented some people from reaching the top at all. Even Xavier standing on these steps found himself with shoulders firmly wedged against either side.

After sitting around back at Berian’s apartment solving some levels of ‘Braid’ (a computer game he told us we really really should have a go at), we headed out again to walk to the top of Arthur’s Seat (pictured) for a lovely views of the city, and went past the ‘distinctive’ (i.e. ugly) Scottish Parliament Building.

So plenty of sightseeing, and less of the amusing stories today. And now everyone seems to be stupidly tired, and is getting ready for bed...

Day 4 : Tokyo to Edinburgh

Nothing exciting to report today. We sat on a train, sat at an airport, sat on a plane, sat in a different airport, sat on another plane, then met Berian (and sat around for 2 hours) at yet another airport.

Oh, and after losing Vegemite, toothpaste and sunscreen to the security people in Sydney, Owen today had his insect repellent taken when checking in at Tokyo.

So here’s some facts and figures

• · We did go to Kiddy Land
• · We did not go to Condomania
• · We did go to Mister Donut
• · We did not do karaoke
• · We did go to the 100-yen (+5% tax) shop
• · We did not go to Mos Burger
• · We did have crepes
• · I did “doozo” someone (at the 100-yen shop)

A 2-3 minute phone call to Berian on my mobile phone while waiting at Heathrow cost $8.91

We would also like to report that so far on the trip we have spent a total of 36:40 hours waiting (including travelling). And a total of 24:30 hours sleeping. Here’s hoping that ratio of waiting:waking-hours improves for the rest of the trip!!!

Day 3 ：Tokyo

We began the day by introducing Owen to the joys of the Japanese convenience store - with their pre-packaged sandwiches, hot dogs and pastries. The standard place for breakfast for us travellers to Japan.

We were disappointed with the lack of choc-coated-bananas-on-sticks at the Sensoji Temple, but highly excited about the machines which were making Manjuu in front of our eyes. So excited that Owen purchased a few without being quite sure what they were.

From the temple we jumped on the subway to head to the good part of Tokyo... the part where Kiddy Land is :)
We spent a solid 2 hours investigating all 6 floors of Good Times it had to offer, and Xavier came out with about 10 quality items. We had crepes (or waffles, if you're Kate), as promised - but only one each. We had ball-bearing-ice-cream from Kiddy Land for dessert (photo again to come later!).

Then there was the mall next to the waffle/crepe place. Last time I was there, I remember it being a fairly standard sort of mall - perhaps with a few whacky characters inhabiting it (mainly whacky in their choice of outfit) - but this time, it was half-a-dozen floors of chaos! There seemed to be some kind of mall-wide mega-sale. Every shop had at least one loud, crazy, highly excited person outside of it, usually holding some kind of sign, often with a cardboard megaphone. Most shops had more than one of these people. I'm not sure how else to describe it other than "mayhem". See the video at the end of the post (not sure how well it captures what it was truly like, but it's the best we've got!)

After that experience, we headed to the temple at Meiji-Jingu for a stroll through the park - a bit of peace and quiet. And quality shade. We made our way through the gardens using a coin which determined which way to turn at each intersection in the paths. We were highly satified with the coin's decisions, as it took us on a route past all the main sights, and never back past the same place twice. I think the coin has a future career as a tour guide.

I would rate today as another "good times", but now we are sick of walking and riding trains - so just for a change, we get 14 hours on aircraft tomorrow. Yeah. Woo.